CWL 2008

CWL Special Feature

PREDICTIONS BY THE MITCH

By Mitch Mitchellson
2.25.08

Note: This column was written before the departures of Andrew Harrod and Jordan Gallup, players whom were initially expected to have a big impact on their respective teams.

Well, it's that time of year again. The time when all there is to do is spew out one prediction after another; knowing good and well that no one really cares about what you have to say, and if they do happen to care, most of what you say, in the end, will be wrong anyway.

That's just the way it goes, but someone has to step up and call things the way they see them, regardless of being right or wrong in the end. And that's where "The Mitch" comes in. For those of you familiar with my work last season, you know I don't care to call things as they are, or at least as I see them. Your point of view is irrelevant, friend, at least for as long as it takes to read this masterpiece of writing. You've just stepped into my world, there's a message board if you want to throw your two cents in after you're finished reading. Now, let's begin.

As I scan the various players of the Cleveland Wiffleball League, I see a lot of unfamiliar names. I see names like David Walsh, Nick Stephens, Andrew Harrod, Chase Wyatt, and several other names that have been absent from years past. And when I look at such names, one word comes to mind: WHO? Who are these people and what are they doing here? Can they play? Can they produce? Can they handle me talking about them without mercy?

Questions, questions, questions. And hopefully the answers to all those question are, indeed, yes. I'm confident, however, that if the Co-Mish felt they couldn't hang, they wouldn't be here. I know how the guy rolls; he's a tyrant, a Hitler-esque fiend when it comes to his beloved CWL. I've heard heartbreaking stories of how he's ruthlessly cut players, players he asked to play in the first place, just because they didn't quite have the talent to play in the CWL. I've heard how guys begged and pleaded, tears streaming from their eyes, for a second chance to prove they belong, only to be shot down in stone-cold fashion that would make Bin-Laden and his beard cringe. Being a good human being isn't enough for this dictator of the plastic, you have to be a saint of a human being, unlike him, with CWL-worthy playing abilities. Period. If not, you'll be cast aside like some diseased piece of filth, unworthy to continue breathing CWL air. That's how I know he's comfortable with the guys on the roster. Unproven, unfamiliar, but certainly not unworthy. The guy's not going to allow past mistakes with the roster to rear its ugly head in what's shaping up to be the most impressive, important CWL season to date. Of course, the cuts could still come. Some people never learn.

Yeah, the names are new, and not just the names across the back of the jerseys, but the names across the front, as well. For the first time in league history, the CWL is rolling with teams, which is a huge upgrade from years past. Who knows, covering this league from afar might actually be fun this year. There's so much more to go with when you're dealing with teams instead of a handful of individual players playing for a points title.

And with teams, comes the inevitable preseason predictions, something I intended to get to way before this point of this column. Sorry, but I tend to ramble and lose myself in deep thought. Deal with it and keep reading, you know you're not stopping now.

And much like the player names, the team names are something new. Not just one or two teams, all of them. I see familiar names on some of those teams, but the teams in general are new, not to mention a breath of fresh air. But with said teams comes the hardcore fact that two of those teams are going to be cellar-dwellers, one in each division. Cellar-dwellers that probably won't return in 2009, because they realize they're not good enough to play after all. While two more will be saturated in mediocrity, as the second-place teams. And then we'll have the two World Series teams, one of which will win it all and think they're gods of the wiffleball universe, only to realize later on that it's wiffleball and no one cares about you, win or lose.

But the question I pose to you is....who'll be those teams I mentioned? Who'll be the two I-can't-believe-we-actually-thought-we'd-be-competitive teams of each division? Who'll be the so-so, we-kick-of-all-things-average teams? And who'll be the we-were-good-till-the-Series-then-we-crumbled team? And, finally, who'll be the in-your-grille-you're-my-slut-for-life-because-we-won-it-all team that hoists the trophy high into the CWL sky as league champs? Well, that's my job, and here they is.

Last place teams, well, I'm looking at two teams in particular, Smoke (National) and Yahtzee (American). And not because I know either of the teams' players, which I don't, I havn't a good clue as to the ability of these guys, period. I'm looking solely at the glaring fact that both these teams consist of rookies and nothing but rookies. Look at rookie production over the years and you'll see that most rookies, aside from a select few, don't produce right away, especially when it comes to pitching. Hitting isn't an issue for most newcomers, it's tossing the plastic and controlling it. Rookies struggle more than anyone with pitching, something both these teams could have trouble with. Walks equal tons of runs in the CWL, and with rookies, most rookies, you're going to see plenty of free passes.

Not to mention the fact that most rookies don't know what they're doing right away. Rookies, in an attempt to prove themselves, make stupid decisions, like trying to make a spectacular peg from deep center only to sling the ball past the runner, into foul territory, allowing runners to advance and possibly score runs that may have not scored otherwise. Rookies, not knowing the groundball rule, do things like stand on first when they should be advancing to second, getting themselves doubled up with no outs and the lead runner on base. Yes, you have to run in the CWL, regardless of the force being taken away or not. This isn't baseball.

And I mean no disrespect to Smoke or Yahtzee, none at all. Well, some, but not much, Noobs. It's just that rookies need time to grow and learn, and time is a luxury you don't necessarily have in the CWL. By the time you learn what you're doing and how to pitch effectively, you could be 5 games out, playing for next season. So, Smoke and Yahtzee, glad to have you around and best of luck, but enjoy the view from the bottom. Not that you won't be competitive but you won't be tasting the sweet nectar of a division title, either. Nor the sweet aroma of a plus .500 record.

Now that Smoke and Yahtzee despise me, let's move on to the second-place teams; the teams that will flirt with a .500 record, play spoiler on occasion, and possibly even, in some circumstances, battle for a title with another mediocre divisional opponent. And when I look around the league, I see two teams that jump out at me as middle-of-the-pack, slap-me-and-call-me-average teams, Str8 Rippin' (National) and TNT (American).

Rippin', and I know they can hit, but can they pitch, aside from Jake Catlett? Will Kugler ever actually show up to play? Can Catlett's bum knee hold up? There's too many questions, too many "what ifs" floating around. They can battle for a title if everything falls in place, but I don't see that happening. In reality, I see Rippin' as an average club, barely above .500 at season's end. Did everyone but me forget that Josh Cartwright, whom many have picked to be this season's MVP, just had open-heart surgery and might not be ready to play, and if he is, might not be the same player he was until next year, if ever? Forget what these goofs on the boards are saying, they don't have sense enough to know any better. Common sense isn't something in strong supply around the C-DUB.

TNT, well, they have a couple of solid vets, but what else? Two rookies no one's ever heard of, that's what. The loss of Brandan Cofer drops TNT from title-contender to potential dog faster than you can say Texas. In fairness, I see this club being a slightly above average team, 3 or 4 games over .500 at best, but competitive. Especially given they're in the weaker of the two divisions. If Barney Cofer and Cody Burgiss can deliver quality pitching efforts week in and out, step up their light hitting, and if the rookies pan out, they can give Rage a go for the top spot, but I doubt that will happen. They've lost too much, gained too little, at least on paper, and don't necessarily look to be a team that scares anyone with their hitting. Experience and leadership will be key, but those things only go so far. Slightly above average isn't saying a whole lot.

Now for the winners, the teams that exude excellence. Well, I wouldn't go that far, let's stick with the division winners. Obviously, by process of elimination, it's easy to see who my picks are to win their respective divisions. Those teams being Goodfellas (National) and Rage (American). Two teams that seem to have less questions than the rest of the clubs I mentioned above, teams that have worked hard to dot every I and cross every T, especially Goodfellas.

Goodfellas, we'll start with them, has by far the deepest pitching rotation of any team. Pitching wins games and Goodfellas has pitching to spare. Forget that Key couldn't pitch his way out of a woman's handbag, he's not needed. When you have guys like Stafford, McDowell, and McMahan, you don't need a fourth guy. All these guys have Cy Young potential and they'll all feed off one another. McMahan is the biggest question mark, given his inconsistency from one year to the next, but I see this former Cy Young winner feeding off hot starts by Staff and McDowell, propelling him to elite pitching status once again. McMahan doesn't want to be the weak link any more than the Co-Mish wanted to have his chest sawed open. And hitting, they'll hit enough to back up the pitching. Not tons of power, but good bats that'll make contact and score runs. McMahan is, again, the key. When focused, he's one of the best pure hitters in the CWL. Which one will show up this season? In order for Goodfellas to win it all, they'll need the focused one, for sure.

Rage is the only team at this point rolling with just three players, a bold move on their part. But those three players, however, are all wiffleball vets. Danny Joe Howard isn't a CWL vet, but a player with tons of experience playing the game. Patrick Lowery and Kelly Cox both had impressive rookie seasons last year, with Lowery winning the league's Rookie of the Year award and being named an all-star. These guys can obviously play and I see no reason why they won't win the American League division. They can pitch, hit, play solid defense, and they'll play smart. Aside from a few Cox blowouts and bat tosses, they'll do things the right way. I think TNT will give them a solid run, but, in the end, Rage will reign supreme over all American League challengers and face Goodfellas in the Series. Plus, they might just find a quality fourth player that will make them that much stronger. Where is Curtis Ware when you need him?

And when it's all said and done, and when all the smoke clears (not Team Smoke, they'll be long done before this), Goodfellas, the loudest, most annoying team in the league, will be your 2008 CWL Champions. Pitching and timely hitting will carry Goodfellas to the first-ever CWL World Series title. From top to bottom, inside and out, they have the best team in the C-DUB. Lots of experience, lots of pitching, solid hitters, not-so-great defense, but good enough to get by, and guys that will be reliable and dedicated to getting the job done.

That's it, I gotta bounce on out. Sorry for the novel, but it takes a while going through this mess that is the CWL. In the next few weeks I'll drop my preseason picks for all the individual CWL award winners, be on the lookout. Until next time....don't hate, appreciate.